Here is why I am single according to "experts". below is pulled from a dating site that a friend copied and pasted to me in an attempt to help me in my new single life. I dont want to live the life outlined below. I dont want to play games with someone. I dont want to do "tricks" to "get" what i want. Maybe its naive on my part, maybe it will be the reason i stay single for good....i dont know. I think the universe has bigger plans for me. But i dont want the life in this article. After each point my comments are in blue, and below them all, is what i want instead of playing these mind fuck games...
Ways To Make A Woman Notice You
Why do most men fail miserably when it comes to approaching attractive women? Most of the time, it's because they never learned how to stand out from the crowd when a hundred other guys are trying to do the same thing. Want the edge you need to make her notice you instead of them... without using lame lines or cheap come-ons? Here are the ways to make it happen: I understand alot of these interactions are assumed to take place at a bar, which is not my scene...i am talking about regular every day life....
1. Take control
No doubt about it... the first thing an attractive woman will do when you approach her is see if she can control and intimidate you. The second thing she'll do is ignore you when she finds out that she can. But use Cocky and Funny, show confidence, use the right body language, etc., and she'll quickly notice you because YOU are taking control. Sure, this confuses her, but it also gets her attention by transmitting a message loud and clear: "I'm the one who's in charge. Feel free to come along if you want." Communicate that to a woman, and she'll see right away that you're different than 99.99% of other guys. She'll immediately respect you and want to know more about you. In other words, she'll feel attraction for you -- and as you know, that's what everything I teach is all about. Any woman who the first thing she will try and do is see if they can control and intimidate on me, is not a woman i want to be successful with. I dont want to find a woman because i confused her or was the one in charge.
2. Master your body language
This is really basic, 101 stuff, but it's huge. I've said it a million times: when you're approaching a woman, your body language is more important than the words you use. Most men use submissive, apologetic body language and voice tones that look as if they're begging and pleading with a woman to give them approval... and these men INSTANTLY come across as wussies. There's no faster way to kill attraction. Instead, project that you have killer confidence (see #8.) Lean back. Give her space. Act like you're not concerned at all about whether or not she's going to like you because, you know what? You shouldn't be. I do not want to play hard to get, act indifferent, etc. What is wrong with if you meet someone you like and think are cool, telling them that? Why is honesty not the best policy?
3. Be Direct
Here's the thing... most guys use "trickery" and long-winded, boring conversation to get info about a woman. Don't do it. Don't make the mistake of trying to figure out some slick way to get her to share something about herself, or to go do something with you. If you want to know something, just ask her straight out. If you want to spend time with her, don't just ask for a date. Tell her that you're doing something later and that she's free to join you. Believe me, you'll take her aback and set yourself apart. Be classy as well as direct, and you'll get where you want to go much, much faster. ok, i dont hate all of this one. I agree with ask something if you want to know. it is honest. but i dont want to do it because I want to set my self apart from the norm. I want to ask, because i am interested.
4. Use Her "Negativity" To Your Advantage
Women will often test you by turning the conversation in an intentionally negative direction, often by complaining about themselves. When they do, be ready for it: it's a GREAT opportunity for you. Instead of playing along (and sounding wussy) use Cocky and Funny to spark and ramp up attraction. Just take what she's saying and turn it up a notch. For example, if she says: "My dress makes me look too fat," just reply, "You know, I wasn't going to say anything, but..." If she says her hair's a mess, say, "Maybe you'll look better tomorrow." Point is: she's expecting you to be just another wussy and kiss up to her. When you DON'T, you'll immediately stand out from the crowd. So i am supposed to play a game and take her insecurity as an "opportunity"? Im not going to lie....if a woman cuts one and asks me if i like the smell, i wont kiss up and say yes....but if someone is having an off day what is wrong with reassuring them. If they are worth the long haul, wont they appreciate it?
5. Get Her Number And Get Out
One of the best ways to make a women sit up and take notice is to disappear after you get her number. So, early on in the conversation, ask her if she has e-mail. When she says yes, tell her: "Great, I've got a few things to do, but I'd really like to chat more with you later. Here, write your email down. Oh, and your number, too." You'll be shocked how many attractive women will respond positively. At that point... take the info and leave. If you do, you'll leave her wanting more instead of wanting to run for the door. Plus, you'll find the encounter so painlessly quick and effective, it'll instantly build you confidence to approach even more women. I have to leave her wanting more? Again with the games....if i meet someone who i find interesting and i am pulled towards, why leave? why not dive into the moment and get to know them then....."it'll instantly build your confidence to approach even more women"? I'm not a man whore, i dont want to set records or notch my bedpost...i want to find "her" someday
6. Have A Game Plan
Feeling unprepared to start a conversation with a woman is the best way to blow it when you do. So it's a no-brainer... same as with the awkward silence, have a few topics to start the conversation in your back pocket as well, and mentally rehearse them. The ones that work best are the simplest: "Hey, what are you drinking?" "Hey, are you from around here?" I realize that these sound way too simple, but that's the beauty of it. They're so simple... and natural... that they're disarming. They don't come across as lame, canned "pickup lines," and they help you figure out quickly if the woman you're talking to might be receptive to you. If i am unprepared for having a conversation with a woman, than isnt there a chance that i am only thinking of having it based on their physical appearance? and if so, is that the criteria i should base an important decision on? really? Ive met some beautiful people inside and out that their inner beauty made them beautiful. And ive met people who are "beautiful" but their soul makes them ugly. I dont know if this article assume i am walking up to every woman i see and hitting on them...the old throw enough shit something sticks theory....but shit sticks to shit....
7. Avoid Awkward Silence
When a guys first starts talking to a woman (especially a very attractive one) he usually lets his emotions and insecurities get the best of him right off the bat. He starts to think, "I better impress her, and fast, or she won't give me a chance." The bad news is... you're right. The good news is... you can impress her the most just by avoiding awkward silence. If you begin to feel it happening, just keep things moving... but casually. Tell a funny story about something that happened to you when you were a kid. Make fun of famous people. Whatever. Have something ready and do it. It's got to be better than that painful, awkward silence.
I can fill every hole in a conversation, but that isnt a move, i like to talk and ask questions. But awkward silences? if it is the right person it is a comfortable silence, and they can be powerful.
8. Project Confidence
Imagine how you'd come across if you were the most confident guy on the planet. You'd seem so in control that you'd be in no rush. You'd never talk too fast or too much, since all of that screams "I'm a nervous wussy". You'd move, gesture and speak slowly and deliberately. You'd pause often, and ditch the anxious, twitchy gestures, laughs, ticks, etc. You'd never break eye contact unless a woman does first. All of this projects killer confidence, and you'll start to notice more women noticing you as you learn how to do it.
**spoiler alert** im not the most confident guy on the planet. i have faults, i have doubts. So i put on an act of being super confident and "the man"....so what happens if we hit it off...do i have to keep the act up? do i have to keep playing the role? if so....then she doesnt even know me. Im not basket case, but i am not Mr. Cool. I have emotions, i love, i hurt sometimes. There is bad with the good. Why is being myself not a better plan?
9. "Rehearse" Your Game Online
Come on... why risk blowing it with a woman live and in-person, when you can practice "rejection-free" all you want first? Go online and practice making sure you don't bore women with your normal, boring comments and normal, boring questions. Instead, start being direct. Showing confidence. Asking for numbers and telling women that you're swamped with a million messages from supermodels so they better act fast or you'll be gone. Master Cocky and Funny from the comfort of your keyboard, and you'll be much better at it when you try it in the "real world."
Easist point to shoot down...if it is "game" then it isnt "real". If it isnt "real", it isnt worth it.
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I dont like this list at all....i dont want to play games with my heart. What is wrong with meeting someone and getting to know them, learning about them, getting close to them, and then being myself with them. Why is it a bad thing as some friends (male and female) have told me that i am a "nice guy" and women want the "bad boy"....that i do too much to make someone happy, and that women want to feel a little insecurity? How does that make sense. What is wrong with if I am with someone, being there for them in anyway possible. To lift them up when they are down, to let them know how important they are to me, to share the good and bad with, to be 100% myself and to be accepted for who i am. What is wrong with asking the same thing in return? This isnt about my exes, this is about my future. I dont want to play these games. I want to eventually when the universe decides it is time, to meet her...and to spend every day after that letting her know how happy i am i did. And to have her do the same.
Isnt that simpler and a better plan than "game"? isnt that a basis on something that lasts?
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